Or was it Wanda?
Thank you for a lovely evening. You are much hotter than your pictures!
I could tell you were fascinated by my recitation of Yankees left fielders from 1943 to today. You quickly ascertained that I love not only mental, but also physical challenges, since you dared me to eat that entire serving of wasabi! On our next date, we can discuss your stance on the in field fly rule. I feel we have so much in common.
I can't remember if I told you how beautiful you looked last night. That dress you were wearing made your breasts look huge. I hope I wasn't staring at them too much. I'm sure I wasn't, because I remember gazing deeply into your stunning blue eyes.
Or maybe they are brown?
Anyway, it doesn't matter. I think you are one hot piece of ass, and I am looking forward to our next date. Are you free on Friday? I'll call soon.
Very truly yours,
VUBOQ
PS. That playful slap when I kissed you good night was such a turn on.
At least, it's the email I would write if I were a straight guy ...
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7 comments:
The editor in me -- the one inside of the straight chick who has dated one too many straight dudes -- must come out:
1) A straight dude would NEVER make contact with the woman immediately following the date. He would wait at least a week, or at least until he ascertained that he wasn't going to get any new ass for the following weekend.
Unless, 1a) said straight dude was incredibly desperate. Then, the immediate contact would include declarations of undying love, the invocation of the concept "soul mate," suggestions that they one day move in together (like this weekend) and effusive compliments that clearly have more to do with his current wanking material than the woman herself.
2) A straight dude would NEVER open the letter with her name, whatever it is. To be careful, he'd start with something he supposes would be charming such as "Hey, sweet cheeks!" or "How's the hottest ass in the free world?"
4) A straight dude would refer to a woman's chest region as a "rack," "tits," or "bodacious ta tas." He would NEVER apologize for staring because he would consider staring to be a compliment.
Despite this, I'm LURVING this experiment!
The editor in me should also point out that the last item on the list should be 3) (not 4 -- but then, that is why I do history, not anything remotely related to numbers.)
clio bluestocking: It would seem I'm a very bad straight guy. I'll get better. Promise.
Sadly, he is likely to find a mate eons sooner than I ever will.
Um....if I receive this e-mail from a date, I assume he is gay. For the reasons Clio pointed out....I got an e-mail from a guy after the first date (before I got married, FYI), it said "hey, do you wanna meet tomorrow night at my place? cheers, rich." He even didn't bothered to capitalize.
WHAT IS THIS????? This is the greatest thing Bossy has ever read.
If you keep this up, I think you should turn it into a book-- great satire! Verrrry funny.
I think you should leave the gay voice in the straight guy's posts.. that's what making it so funny and interesting :)
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